Children and Holidays : A Year Round Celebration

by Barbara Freedman-De Vito



For children, every month of the year should be a fun-filled celebration of something special, from large occasions like the birth of a new brother or sister, a child's birthday, or Christmas, to the smaller milestones of everyday life, such as losing the first baby tooth or coming to the end of another school year. Often families hold large-scale celebrations surrounding certain events, but may pass others over entirely. The purpose of this article is to suggest ways in which parents can make every month special and uniquely memorable for their children.

Picture the scene. It's Christmastime. Many homes, especially if there are children, are framed in twinkling lights, have Christmas wreaths hanging on the front doors, and perhaps Santa's sleigh adorning the front lawn, in addition to a lovingly trimmed Christmas tree in the livingroom. The act of making or putting up these decorations provides a special opportunity for parents and children to participate in a creative endeavor together. It heightens the child's anticipation of the big holiday to come and provides an enjoyable day spent doing things together.

Because of its association with a very special annual event, it may particularly stand out in the child's mind and even become a cherished childhood memory, lasting long after the child has grown into adulthood. Moments such as these linger and contribute to the special bond between parents and children and become tender memories that grown children and their parents can hold onto forever.

After New Year's Day, when the Christmas tree comes down and the last string of tiny light bulbs has been packed away, it's a bit of a letdown and signals a return to the routine passing of the days. Well, instead of just packing away all of these fanciful flourishes for another year, why not segue directly into another holiday ? In January, this could be preparations for Chinese New Year or for Valentine's Day. Why not put equal care and attention into doing up the house for each subsequent special event throughout the year ? With a bit of planning and effort, every month can mark a new festival of creativity, excitement and anticipation. The house need never revert to dullness and children need never feel that the fun's all over until next year. This practice will also allow your children to take pride in their own artistic accomplishments, the fruits of which will be on display all around them.

Here is a list of just some of the annual events that you might wish to make a bigger fuss over, in terms of decorating a single room or decorating your entire home, inside and out. You may even choose to make gift-giving a part of a broader range of annual events, just for the pleasure of giving. You might bake a special cake and have a party with a particular theme in mind, and incorporate that theme into all of your table trimmings. Some of the following widely celebrated holidays and other special observances have fixed dates, while others vary a bit from year to year :

January 1 - New Year's Day
midJanuary - Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
January - Chinese New Year
February - African-American History Month
February 2 - Groundhog Day
February 14 - Valentine's Day
March - Women's History Month
March 17 - Saint Patrick's Day
late March or April - Easter
April - National Library Week
May - Older Americans Month
May – Asian Pacific American Heritage Month
May - Be Kind To Animals Week
midMay - Mother's Day
midJune - Father's Day
July 4 - American Independence Day
September - Grandparents Day
September 15 to October 15 - Hispanic Heritage Month
October 12 - Columbus Day
October 31 - Halloween
November - American Indian/Alaska Native Heritage Month
November - National Children's Book Week
late November - Thanksgiving
late November or December - Chanukah
December 25 - Christmas
December 26 to January 1 - Kwanzaa

To find detailed information on designs to use or special pictures and symbols to go with each event, you can consult Internet or find a book on holidays at your local library. Whatever your religion, you may also want to decorate your home for your faith’s unique holidays and traditional celebrations, the Jewish harvest festival of Sukkot, for example. Don't forget to doll up the place for all personal family events, too, such as each family member's birthday, graduations, anniversaries and the like. How about celebrating when your child successfully learns to ride a bicycle or loses a baby tooth ? You might even mark the arrival of a new pet, or a long overdue visit from a favorite relative who lives far away.

For each event, you may or may not choose to use some store-bought ornaments and objects related to the festivity, but you should also always include many homemade decorations. The art sessions during which you and your children design and make your own decorations add to family closeness and create special memories in and of themselves. They also encourage your children to tap their own creativity, to develop original ideas and see them through, and to trust their own instincts.

You might buy some basic materials, such as rolls of ribbon or crepe paper or rolls of colored cellophane and pipe cleaners, or really maximize your resourcefulness by relying primarily on odds and ends that you already have lying around the house. These could include bits of colored construction paper, tin foil, crayons, cotton balls, leftover ribbons and yarn. Be careful, of course, to keep scissors and swallowable objects out of the reach of small children and exercise caution if you have pets in your house. Please be careful not to use any decorations or materials that may be poisonous, such as poinsettias, or otherwise harmful to pets. For example, cats may swallow tinsel, which can then block their intestines, or pets may become tangled up in or choked by long, string-like strips of ribbon and such.

When plannng each project, let your kids decide what to make and where to put each item, or start with one room plus an idea of that room's overall decorative potential, such as a garland here, a mobile there, and a picture over there, and then set about to construct each desired element. Take plenty of photos along the way, not only of your resplendant rooms once they've been all gussied up, but also of your family's "making of" activities. You may even decide to start a special photo album just for this purpose.

Later, when the time comes to take down all of the decorations from a particular special event, pack them lovingly away so that next year you can reuse some, in addition to creating some new ones each year. You can gradually build up your own personal inventory of special ornaments and trimmings for each event in the year. Then, in years to come, they can be brought out for nostalgic afternoons with your adult children, or for sharing with your grandchildren. Each decoration or photo will have its own story to tell and, after all, these are the special moments that lifetime memories are made of.

Visit Barbara Freedman-De Vito's shop for T-Shirts, Mugs, Magnets, Clothing, and Gifts with holiday designs and more.

Source: articleheaven.com

THE MAGIC OF HOLIDAY TRADITIONS & RITUALS

There's a strong connection between family traditions and rituals and the ability of a family to survive and thrive in today's world.

The family has changed dramatically over the last century. Family members are spread across the country. Young and old have their own separate, hectic schedules. Family time becomes a casualty to tired parents, children's sports practices or lessons, and the lure of television. We're also caught between a pop culture ideal of individual happiness and fulfillment, and the dream of love and connection sold in commercials. We still love each other and we have no less desire for meaning and connection. But we drift apart and feel empty.

We don't know how to deal with the changed family. We generate the highest expectations of family life of any generation in human history, but provide the least guidance and support for making it happen. There are few rules. And so we struggle along, each trying to figure it out in a way that will make sense for ourselves and our circumstances. Building a family, just like building a home, a career, or world peace, needs a plan and conscious, continuous effort. It also requires a foundation on which to build and maintain real relationships, even when they get messy and difficult.

One way to establish that foundation, to find order amid the chaos, is through tradition and ritual. This doesn't mean "going back to the good old days" (there really weren't any), but it does mean connecting to each other and our communities in a habitual pattern that we can count on and that slows us down every once in a while. Traditions and rituals are a powerful way to balance the whirlwind of our lives. We are creatures of habit. And when we ingrain a family tradition, it becomes a habit that anchors us. Traditions and rituals can pull us back to what's important – a story at bedtime, a weekend meal, a holiday gathering. Our best memories – and sometimes our worst – tend to be tied to family traditions and rituals. It's not only how we communicate in a family, but how we enact our connections that matters. Research is slowly beginning to uncover tradition and ritual as a very important factor in strong, close families.

Read the rest of this article Here at the National Legacy Project website, then take a look at 12 Ideas for bringing the generations of your family closer together.

1. Start in the Kitchen: Research shows the kitchen - not the living room or dining room - is the most relaxed place to make cozy memories. We smell, we taste, we talk, we learn things in the kitchen. Something as simple as baking cookies (even if you use a mix!) can create a loving memory.


2. Have Your Own Family Book Club: Choose a new book every month. If you're a grandparent who lives far away from your grandchildren, mail a book a month - even send along an audiotape of yourself reading the story! This gives you something to share, and to talk about in person or over the phone.

3. Use the Power of Story: Read aloud as a family- even with teenagers! It's a cozy activity all ages can enjoy that builds bonds - and can start important conversations. When you finish a story, share the memories or stories from your own life that it evokes. This helps children get to know you and themselves. Bring your stories alive by using old mementos (your mother's earrings, your grandfather's watch, an old train ticket).

4. Make It Picture Perfect: Have a family scrapbook party. Children, parents, and grandparents can choose their favorite photos and you can decorate themed pages. It's a great way to organize those scattered photo packets, recall family memories, and create a treasured keepsake. If you live far apart, photocopy old family photos, write a few lines at the bottom about what's going on, and every once in a while mail a photocopy as a reminder of family history.

5. Involve All Ages in a Collection: Whether it's rocks, coins, or baseball cards, a shared family interest gives generations something to talk about and enjoy together.

6. Give a Keepsake: When parents and grandparents give a keepsake, explain or write down the story behind it. Where did it come from? Why is it important?

7. Remember Two Small Words: parents should encourage a simple "thank you" note whenever children get a gift from a grandparent. This teaches kids an important social skill, and makes grandparents feel appreciated.

8. Bestow Your Furniture: Assign a special piece of furniture to each child or grandchild. It's like giving twice - now and in the future- and makes children feel important.

9. Encourage Family Rituals: The more complicated the world gets, the more simple things matter. From waving good-bye from the same window every morning to going to the local pizza place every Friday night, these are the moments that make memories.

10. Share Your "Best Memory": Even in a strained relationship, one of the most powerful gifts you can give is a short note describing your best memory of someone. They're often surprised at what it is!

11. Interview an Elder: When children interview an elder, they learn an important communication skill and come to understand their past. Older people often value the chance to talk about their lives.

12. Hug Someone You Love: Research shows that the older people get, the fewer hugs we give them. But "big, warm smiles and warm snuggly hugs" aren't just for kids. We all need them! Remember to give your child or grandchild, and your parent or grandparent, that extra hug.

The national Legacy Project is a community service initiative that offers grandparents and parents lots of free information, ideas, activities, and contests to bring the generations in your family closer together. These 12 tips to get you started are from Legacy Project Chair Susan V. Bosak. For more great ideas, visit the Legacy Project website at www.legacyproject.org.

Free Kindness Pass-Along Gift Cards (I Love This!)

'Pay it Forward' Acts of Kindness

You've heard the heartwarming stories about people who have committed "random acts of kindness" by tossing extra change into a toll booth for the car behind it, or by paying for a cup of coffee for the next person in line. Often the kind deed is appreciated by the recipient, and wouldn't it be awesome if the incentive to "pass it on" is also present? Now it can be!

To help that "kind energy" to keep moving forward, Creativity Portal's Chris Dunmire has invented one way to inspire more kind acts to continue from person to person through these Kindness Pass-Along Gift Cards. These cards are free for you to download print, and use simply by visiting the website Here.

'Twas The Week Before Christmas - And There's Still Time To Make It From Scratch

The final edition before Christmas of the Make It From Scratch blog carnival is Here and once again, it's full of really good stuff...

Visit Mrs. Micah's site and find links to all of the participants - lots of recipes, last minute craft ideas, some different thoughts on ways to celebrate.

I love Make It From Scratch day!

The Candy House

It began two weeks ago when we went to visit Santa and Maya saw the Candy House.
oooohhhh....a Candy House....



Since then, she's seen candy houses at Walgreen's and at Big Y, she spotted candy houses in Christmas magazines. There was a candy house in a commercial on TV.
Every time she saw one, Maya wanted me to look at it too.
A Candy House.

This morning we made a Candy House.

Nothing fancy, not a gingerbread house, our house began as a cardboard box covered with foil. We frosted it, shingled it with graham crackers, then dressed ourselves in coats and hats and boots and mittens and set out for a walk to the corner store for the candy.





By lunch time, we had our very own Candy House.



Now that it's almost time for bed, our candy house has a lot less candy.
I tried to quell the vandalism - "nibble, nibble, little mouse! Who's that nibbling at my house?"

"It's me, Maya. I'm eating the candy off this house."

Alrighty then.
Carry on.

Countdown To Christmas!

We had an ice storm today, glistening and beautiful and taking down a power line this afternoon. I came to my desk tonight planning to seek out a good selection of Advent and Christmas countdown activities for the children to enjoy.
And to keep the children busy so the grandmothers can get something accomplished during the day!

It turns out that Beverly Hernandez, Your Guide to Homeschooling at About.com has already done the job for me. In fact, she's done a far more thorough job than I planned on doing!

I'll be visiting Beverly's Christmas Countdown Calendar Pages every day from now until Christmas to use her great ideas. ( and I still won't have time to do them all!)
Thank you and Three Cheers for Beverly!
Merry Christmas!

Finishing The Week With Jan Brett And The Mitten

A Ukrainian Folktale retold and illustrated by Jan Brett


Alibris

When Nicki drops his white mitten in the snow, he goes on without realizing that it is missing.
One by one, woodland animals find the mitten and crawl in; first a curious mole, then a rabbit, a badger and others, each one larger than the last. Finally, a big brown bear is followed in by a tiny brown mouse, and what happens next makes a wonderfully funny climax.
As the story of the animals in the mitten unfolds, the reader can see Nicki in the borders of each page, walking through the woods unaware of what is going on.
Once again Jan Brett has created a dramatic and beautiful picture book in her distinctive style. She brings the animals to life with warmth and humor, and her illustrations are full of visual delights and details faithful to the Ukrainian tradition, from which the story comes.

After reading the book (either buy it as a wonderful Christmas gift or borrow it from the library - or both!) visit Jan Brett's Homepage for activities to accompany this classic book.

She has masks of all the animals to print out and use to put on your own play of The Mitten,
a Print and Cut game of Put The Animals In The Mitten, a design your own mitten template , even a cross stitch pattern of the mitten and all the animals for a loving grammy to stitch as a gift.

Have fun joining the animals and staying snug all winter!

Winter For The Canada Goose

In spite of being called the Canada goose, these geese are one of the most common type of water birds, living or at least migrating through all of North America. There are really over a dozen kinds of geese that belong to the species called Canada Goose. Almost all of them migrate, but a few kinds do not, preferring to stay in the same location year round.

The Canada Goose enjoys the young shoots of plants such as cattails, pondweed, grasses, clover, most of plants that can be found growing near water. Seen in ponds with their head submerged underwater and tail sticking up high, they also eat insects and their larvae, snails, small clams and mussels.

In the winter, when the ponds and lakes begin to freeze and their food becomes scarce, the Canada geese begin to migrate to a place that is warmer with plenty of food. Scientists still aren't sure just how migration works or how the geese know what to do and where to go. They do know that most Canada geese travel the same routes or paths each year and arrive at the same place to spend the winter.
The geese migrate both by day and by night, stopping often for rest, food, and water. They make their migration in family groups and are led by experienced adults who have made the trip before. It is believed that they find their way by watching for familiar landmarks, such as mountains, cities, rivers, and lakes. It is also likely that the position of the sun, moon, and stars in the sky as well as the earth’s magnetic field helps them to find their way.
However they do it, we all have to agree that it is a very impressive accomplishment!

For some fun with the Canada Goose, visit these pages:

Canada Goose Coloring Page (from coloring.ws)

Canada Goose Coloring Page (with information)

Canada Goose Coloring Page with Labels (with information)

"What I've learned about the Canada Goose" Coloring Worksheet

Help the Canada Goose find the pond Maze

How many words can you make from CANADA GOOSE Word Worksheet

Do Squirrels Migrate Or Hibernate In The Winter?

Well, according to The Scholarly Squirrel

"Although squirrels seem to disappear from sight in the winter months, they are in the exact places where they lived during the warmer months. In fact, squirrels spend their entire lives within only three to five acres. Ground squirrels hibernate during the winter months, but tree squirrels do not. Tree squirrels keep warm by snuggling with their family in their tree nests or ground burrows. As soon as the weather permits, they emerge and begin hunting for food again. Squirrels are very sensitive to weather changes and prepare for an upcoming drop in temperature by instinctively burying their nuts underground as well as binge eating!"

Here's a page of links to directions for making various squirrel nesting boxes
And
a bunch of online jigsaw puzzles featuring squirrels and other forest friends!

Now Just In -
A List of Thirteen Fascinating Squirrel Facts by Nancy at Soliloquy.
Thanks, Nancy!

The Animals Are Getting Ready For Winter!

People usually spend the winter in a home with some sort of heat; they put on extra layers of clothing and heavy coats for added warmth when they go outside. When the need for food grips them, they go to the grocery store. But what about the wild animals that live around us?

The biggest problem for most animals in the winter is finding enough food. Wild animals cope with the changes in weather and availability of food in one of three ways: adjusting, hibernating or migrating. Most land-bound animals are forced to remain and stay somewhat active during the winter. They must adjust to our changing weather. Many make changes in their behavior or bodies. Cold-blooded animals (i.e., insects, reptiles, amphibians, and fish) must hibernate if they live in environments where the temperature and therefore their own body temperature drops below freezing. Box turtles burrow into the soil or mulch piles. Reptiles like lizards and snakes seek protective cover under rocks, leaf litter and mulch piles. Many others hoard food stores to get them through the winter. Squirrels and mice stash their food in tree cavities, under leaf litter, or in holes in the ground. Still other animals, such as voles, have communal food storage areas underground.

Most animals prepare for winter by changing their bodies - accumulating body fat is the most crucial, a vital insulator for warmth and source of energy. Many of these animals, like deer, squirrels, and raccoons, spend the fall feasting on energy- and fat- rich acorns and other nuts that help them put on an insulating layer of fat beneath their skin. Their sparse summer coat is gradually replaced by a warmer one made up of a dense layer of under fur and a thick surface layer that helps to trap body heat. These species, as well the rabbit, otter, muskrat, fox, and bobcat, remain active throughout the winter, foraging or hunting daily. For other species, such as opossums and skunks, winter activity is temperature dependent. During extremely cold periods they spend their time in their nests or dens, curled up in a semi sleep dormant state.

Hibernation is the practice among certain animals of spending part of the cold season in a more or less dormant state, apparently as protection from cold when their normal body temperature cannot be maintained and food is scarce. This deep sleep allows them to conserve energy and survive the winter with little or no food. Hibernation is caused by a chemical trigger released by the brain when the animal experiences extremes of temperature, lack of food, or decreased amounts of daylight. Most hibernators prepare in some way for the winter. Some store food in their burrows or dens, to eat when they awaken for short periods. Many eat extra food in the fall while it is plentiful, and store it as body fat to be used later for energy.

Hibernators have two kinds of fat: regular white fat and a special brown fat. The brown fat forms patches near the animal's brain, heart, and lungs. The fat sends a burst of energy to warm these organs first when it is time for the animal to wake up. Hibernating animals are able to store enough food in their bodies to carry them over until food is once again obtainable. They do not grow during hibernation. Their bodily activities are reduced to a minimum; in fact they may have only one or two heartbeats every minute. This energy-efficient dormant stage enables the hibernating animal to have periods of inactivity that last for weeks or even months. True hibernators go into such a deep sleep that they are difficult to wake and may even appear dead. Their body temperature drops, and their breathing and heart rate drop significantly. For example, the groundhog, or woodchuck, is one of our true hibernators. It spends most of the summer in fields and in tunnels it has dug below. During winter, the groundhog finds it way to the deepest recesses of those tunnels where it will hibernate. A hibernating groundhog's heart rate slows from 80 beats to 4 beats per minute, and its body temperature drops from 98F to as low as 38F. If its temperature falls too low, it will awaken slightly and shiver to warm up a bit.

If an animal lives in an area where the winter is mild, it may hibernate only briefly, or not at all. However, even when the winter is severe, hibernators may wake up for short periods every few weeks to use their "toilet rooms" and eat if food is available. Animals such as raccoons, skunks, and some chipmunks are light sleepers and are easily awakened. They may sleep during the most severe weather and wake to roam and forage for food in milder weather.

Our largest hibernator is the bear. Bears are unique because, unlike other hibernators, they do not eat, drink, or excrete at all while hibernating, which can be as long as six months. Although the quarters are cramped, female bears give birth and nurse their cubs during hibernation. Other true hibernators include the jumping mouse, little brown bat, the eastern chipmunk, and some species of ground squirrels.

This week, let's have some fun learning about how animals live in the winter.
Crafts, coloring pages, stories - we could even make a feeding station to help out the animals that live nearby.

If your family has some ideas we can use to learn about animals in winter, please leave a comment and I'll be sure to say Thank You!

Come, Ye Thankful People, Come

"Mommeee...Grammy's talking weird again! She's callin me 'ye thankful'!"

The Kinder Arts newsletter just arrived and I was immediately drawn to the number of projects designed to help our family count its blessings.

Susan Futch has directions for Blessing Boxes made from milk cartons to show what you are thankful for on Thanksgiving Day. (I don't see why any small box wouldn't work just as well)

Karen Rowley shares a fun and educational Thankful Turkey.

Amanda Formaro walks us through the steps of making a Handprint Thanksgiving Tree.

And, if you're feeling really thankful - and ambitious! there are two Thanksgiving Quilts to choose from -
one from Yamilka J. Sena
and another designed by Mindy Shupak.

So Come, Ye thankfuls -
Let's get busy!

My Parents Have Lives???

It comes as a surprise to young children that the people they call "Mommy" or "Daddy" or "Grammy" also have names like "Rachel" or "Ken" or "Karen." It is incomprehensible to older children that these same people may (gasp!) live a life that encompasses more than being parents or grandparents. Try these conversation sparking activities at your family holiday - if you dare!

* Have the kids write the adult's life story, as they understand it. Then have them check their story for accuracy by reading it aloud to the person they wrote about.

* Let the kids design a questionnaire for their parents and other family members to discover more about them.

* Older children might be interested in what high school life was like for their parents and grandparents. (Or they might not. Ask them to please be polite and feign an interest for the sake of harmony.)

What decade was it when the adults were in high school? What was going on in the world then? What songs and fashions were popular? How about games and other pastimes?

I recently ran across a JC Penney catalog from 1972, the year I graduated from high school. Doing an online search will uncover many other catalogs and magazines from different time periods. Lots of fun - and a little embarassing. (what Were we thinking? hip hugging bell bottoms???)

* Go through old family photo albums to find pictures from when everyone was young.
Before looking at the pictures, ask the kids to make sketches or write brief descriptions of what they think their parents and grandparents looked like. Then compare the pictures. Do they match?

* Ask your children if they would like to have children some day. What do they think their children will look like? Ask them to draw or write a description of their future children then tuck the pictures away for posterity.

My Grandmother's Name Is Karen

Names are an interesting topic for children - both their own names and the idea that the adults they know by titles - Mommy, Daddy, Grammy, Grandpa, even Great Grampy!- all have their own names.
Try using these questions as a conversation starter at your Holiday meal:

What does my name mean?

What is the story of how my name was chosen?

Does anyone else in our whole family (from the past or present) have my name?

What other interesting names are there in our family?

Ask the children what they might name their own children someday. Why do they think that might be a good name?

Does anyone in the family wish that they had a different name? What is it? Why is it a better name?

It's fun to learn the meaning of everyone's first name.
Here's a link to a database of over 30,000 names. Just enter your name in the search box to find out what it means!

Older children will want to take the idea a bit further (we hope. Or they're rolling their eyes in boredom by now and wishing they could be excused from the table to do anything else other than this...)

Older children will also be interested in the meaning and possible origin of their last name.

About.com maintains a Last Name Meanings and Origins Glossary for your last name. The glossary includes last name meanings and origins, plus research links, common last name spelling variations, and surname search tips for last names of English, Irish, German, French, Italian, Spanish, and Jewish origin, including the 100 most popular U.S. surnames.

Can't find your last name in the Last Name Meanings Glossary? Submit your surname to Ask a Genealogist and the editor will try to research its meaning and add it to the Last Name Meanings Glossary. Last name site submissions are also welcome for sites primarily devoted to one of the included surnames.

And finally, dress up your Thanksgiving table. Print, clip, fold and add a name to these Thanksgiving placecards from Kid's Turn Central.

Mr. Rogers Talks About Divorce

Fantasies Are Often More Scary than Reality

Separation and divorce can be very sad and painful for children. Divorce brings many changes, and changes are hard for children. They may feel their family is broken. They may wonder, "If parents stop loving each other, can they stop loving me?" They may also think the divorce is their fault.

Parents can have hurt and angry feelings, too. Divorce can make a parent feel unloved and unwanted. When you feel hurt and upset, it is hard to have energy for the everyday needs of your child. It can be hard to remember that just because one relationship has failed, you have not failed at love. You are still a lovable and loving person.

Divorce changes families in many ways. But a mother and father who don't live together can still help their children feel safe, loved, and part of a caring family.

Children Need Simple Answers About the Divorce.

Most children think they caused the divorce because they were bad. Tell your child, "It is not your fault. This is a problem between the grownups."

It helps children when both parents are together to tell the news about the divorce.

It is enough to say "We are very, very sorry. We tried and tried, but we cannot live together anymore."

Some children think they can get their parents back together. It helps them to hear again and again that the children did not make the divorce happen. And the children cannot "fix" it.

Children Need to Know What Will Change and What Will Stay the Same.

Children don't understand what will change in a divorce. Their biggest question is, "Who will take care of me?" They need to hear there will always be grownups to take care of them.

Talk about the changes, like:

where they will sleep or go to school,
where each parent will live,
when they will be with each parent.
Talk about the things that will stay the same. Children want to know that some things will not change. They need to know there will still be rules.

And of course, the most important thing that stays the same is your love.

Children Need Ways to Express Their Feelings.

Children can have lots of sad and angry feelings about the divorce and all the changes it brings. Those feelings can last a long time.

Help your child to use words and say, "I am really mad!" instead of hitting or throwing things.
Children can get their feelings out by drawing, playing, and making up stories.
Read children's books about divorce. Talk about the story and the pictures.

Children Need to Know It's Ok to Have Their Own Feelings about Each Parent.

Even when one parent is angry with the other, it's important not to say "bad" things about the other parent.

Let your child know it's ok to like being with the other parent. That may be hard for you, but children feel better when they have some good feelings about both parents.

Sometimes children may not want to leave one parent to stay with the other. Let them know you understand that is hard.

Help Can Come in Many Ways.

Let your child's teacher know your family is having hard times.

The teacher can give extra help and comfort when your child is upset.
Tell your child that you told the teacher. Children think the divorce is a secret because no one talks about it. But divorce is not a secret for people who care about your child.
Find another adult you can talk with when you are going through a hard time. That can help you feel better about yourself.

Do things you and your child enjoy -- even small things, like reading a book together or taking a walk. Then you and your child can know there are good things in life to enjoy, even in hard times.

It can take a long time for children to manage their feelings about a divorce. For some children it takes longer than others.

If you feel your child needs extra help, try to find counseling or a support group. Most communities have that kind of help for families -- free or at low cost.

Whatever helps you to remember that you are a lovable and loving person is worth your time and energy.

For more information about helping children with divorce by Fred Rogers, please visit the Family Communications Inc. web site.



How Would You Feel?
an activity for you and your child

Pretending how we feel, or might feel, at certain times can be a good way for children to talk about feelings.

Materials:

Paper plates
Construction-paper shapes cut to represent facial features
Tape

Directions:

Use a paper plate, construction-paper shapes cut to resemble facial features and tape to create different facial expressions. Ask your child to tell you the feelings each "face" expresses.

As you and your child arrange different faces on the plates you have a chance to ask questions such as How would you feel if you were

*Getting ready to open a present
*Riding a tricycle and someone pushed you off
*Throwing a ball in the house and broke a vase
*Going to get a new puppy
*Hearing thunder
*Going to sleep somewhere else

Your child might want to make different expressions about the different situations you present. It helps children to know that we have lots of different feelings -- ambivalent feelings -- about a lot of things, even about a divorce.

Mr. Rogers Talks About Families

Families Come in Different Shapes and Sizes

Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Even people who are not related by blood at all can make up a family because they love and care for each other. And that's what is really important about families. When people care for one another, they have a sense of belonging - of being related to each other, even if they are not blood relatives.

There are many ways to become a member of a family. Being born into a family is one way. Marrying into a family, or being adopted are other ways to become part of a family. When children are adopted, they sometimes need reassurance that adoptive families and stepfamilies are like other families and that their moms and dads care for them, the same way other parents care for their children.
-- Fred Rogers

Family Life and a Focus On Adoption
Day by day, in the secure "nest" of family life, children learn the most essential thing of all -- how to live with other people. Daily life requires some structure and routine so that everyone in the family knows what to expect and can move through the day with some comfort and predictability.

That means, of course, that children can't do only what they want to do. There are rules and limits about such things as when to eat, what to eat, and when to sleep. As much as children may "test" the rules, they need -- and want -- adults to be in charge.

As children deal with the ups and downs of everyday life with parents, brothers or sisters, and friends, they're learning about compromise, responsibility, love, anger, generosity, compassion, and cooperation. Little by little they develop the ability to wait, to share, to try, to cope with disappointment, to understand and to express feelings. Day by day, they're seeing how they are like other people and how they are different. If they're fortunate, little by little they're coming to realize that they are unique, and that everyone else in this world is unique, too.

For Adoptive Families

Being adopted into a caring family can be a very special "love story." But adoption can be difficult to talk about, since it involves one of a child's deepest needs: the sense of security in belonging to a family that will always take care of him or her.

Talking about Adoption

Each child has unique ways of dealing with being adopted, and those ways can change as children grow. Some children talk a lot about being adopted, and they ask a lot of questions. Other children may be quiet about it.

Some people tell "the story of when you were adopted" as they're rocking their infants or when they're snuggling with their toddlers. Of course, infants and toddlers don't understand much about what's being said; nevertheless they're hearing about their history in a natural way.

Some parents worry that if they don't talk about adoption with their adopted child early on, someone else may reveal it to their child and that could raise even more concerns for him or her. In fact, a child could feel betrayed and wonder if adoption might be something shameful or something to hide if he or she hears such an important thing from someone other than family.

"It's Not Your Fault..."

As children grow, they try to make their own sense of why they were adopted. During the preschool years, as they work on controlling their own "bad" behavior, adopted children sometimes wonder if their birthparents didn't keep them because they were "bad" or because they cried a lot.

Those children need a lot of assurance from adults that what they're thinking just isn't true. It's better to say, "Your birthmother and birthfather just weren't able to take care of any baby at all" rather than saying, "Your birthmother and birthfather couldn't take care of you." In other words, there was nothing wrong with your child in particular; rather it was the birthparents' inability to provide care that prompted the adoption. If children are left to their own fantasies and think they were abandoned because they were bad, their next unspoken question to their adoptive parents might be, "How bad do I have to be before you give me away, too?"

Children need to hear that there were probably many reasons why their birthparents couldn't take care of a child, but that those reasons all have to do with the grownups. You may want to ask your child why he or she thinks some birthparents can't care for a baby, so you can correct any misconceptions and maybe find out more about what your child really wants to know.

Adoption Is For Always

There are wonderful things about being adopted into a loving family; nevertheless, some children feel that adoption also means loss -- loss of relationships with people they didn't even know, people who were a significant part of their history. Some children have said to their adoptive mother, "I'm sad that I didn't grow in your tummy." Adoptive mothers can let them know that they're sad about that, too, (if in fact they are) but that they're also very glad that "you're growing in our family!"

Many families nowadays avoid saying "You were chosen" because that could imply that those adoptive children are expected to live up to certain expectations if they are to remain chosen. Parents may think they're helping their child feel secure by believing they are "chosen," but oddly enough, that can have just the opposite effect. Adopted children need to hear and to know that adoption is not conditional -- adoption is for always. They need to hear, "You are special, not because you're adopted, but just because you're you. No matter what, you will always be part of our family. Adoption is for keeps."

However Your Family has Grown

As a parent, day in and day out, you're a nurturer, comforter, problem-solver, protector, limit-setter, and much more. In the safety of the family, you're helping your child learn how to get along with others, how to deal with rules and limits, how to cooperate, compromise, and negotiate -- all qualities that are essential for whatever relationships may be in your child's future.

For more information on adoption by Fred Rogers, visit the Family Communications web site.

Make A Family Photo Album To "Read" At Story Time

Create a family photo collage by gluing the pictures on a piece of heavy paper. Talk to the children about the people in the pictures and how they are all relatives and part of your family. You could store the pages in a photo album or three-ring binder. Each child in your family might like to make his or her own collage.

When you go on a trip to see relatives (at Thanksgiving for example), encourage your child to draw about the visit. Add your own comments on a separate page and put these in a notebook to help your child remember the family members they visited.

Our Family Word Search

Think of all of the wonderful words to describe your family. Think of the silly words that describe your family. Make a list of your family's hobbies, favorite songs, streets in your neighborhood.
Now have some fun making Family Wordsearch Games.
Like this one, for example -

Our Family Works Together

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, November is a great time to Focus On Family. Today's activity will remind everyone to recognize and appreciate the contributions that each member makes to the family. You might want to work together on a chart like this one.
(but remember, the idea is to appreciate what each person brings to the family, making it a happy place to be. It's not a chore chart - we can make one of those later!)
Once you've finished listing all the wonderful ways your family helps and encourages on another, why not extend the activity by printing out these Fabulous Family Member Awards. Decorate them with paints, crayons or markers - don't forget the glitter!- and give one to each of the Fabulous Members of your family!

A Dangling Spider And Grinning Jack -o-Lantern From HighlightsKids.com

A couple of fun decorations to work on over the weekend from Highlights Kids.

Dangling Spider
Give your family and friends a fright with a spider made from felt and a film canister. Directions Here

Grinning Jack-o'-Lantern
You'll be grinning when making a jack-o'-lantern from a balloon, glue, and yarn.
Directions Here.

For some extra fun - how about this Monster Puppet?

This silly monster is easy to make with a shoebox, construction paper and some imagination. Directions Here.

Check Out The Halloween Ideas From Woman's Day Magazine!

This month's newsletter from Woman's Day Magazine is packed with Halloween Fun for kids and grandkids.
They have

7 Super-Easy 1-Hour Costumes
Last-minute disguises for kids, including a pirate, a hunchback and more!

15 Print-and-Color Halloween Masks
From butterflies to pandas to pirates, hit Trick-or-Treat Street with an easy-to-make DIY mask.

and
20 Halloween Crafts
Toast the ghosts of the season with these spooktacular decorations.


There's plenty here to keep you and the kids busy right up to Halloween night!

Prisms And Rainbows - Another Story In Pictures

We hung a prism in the window and spent the morning chasing rainbows.






Want to know an easy way to remember the order of the colors of the rainbow?
Remember this man's name : Roy G. Biv

Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Indigo
Violet