Children and Holidays : A Year Round Celebration

by Barbara Freedman-De Vito



For children, every month of the year should be a fun-filled celebration of something special, from large occasions like the birth of a new brother or sister, a child's birthday, or Christmas, to the smaller milestones of everyday life, such as losing the first baby tooth or coming to the end of another school year. Often families hold large-scale celebrations surrounding certain events, but may pass others over entirely. The purpose of this article is to suggest ways in which parents can make every month special and uniquely memorable for their children.

Picture the scene. It's Christmastime. Many homes, especially if there are children, are framed in twinkling lights, have Christmas wreaths hanging on the front doors, and perhaps Santa's sleigh adorning the front lawn, in addition to a lovingly trimmed Christmas tree in the livingroom. The act of making or putting up these decorations provides a special opportunity for parents and children to participate in a creative endeavor together. It heightens the child's anticipation of the big holiday to come and provides an enjoyable day spent doing things together.

Because of its association with a very special annual event, it may particularly stand out in the child's mind and even become a cherished childhood memory, lasting long after the child has grown into adulthood. Moments such as these linger and contribute to the special bond between parents and children and become tender memories that grown children and their parents can hold onto forever.

After New Year's Day, when the Christmas tree comes down and the last string of tiny light bulbs has been packed away, it's a bit of a letdown and signals a return to the routine passing of the days. Well, instead of just packing away all of these fanciful flourishes for another year, why not segue directly into another holiday ? In January, this could be preparations for Chinese New Year or for Valentine's Day. Why not put equal care and attention into doing up the house for each subsequent special event throughout the year ? With a bit of planning and effort, every month can mark a new festival of creativity, excitement and anticipation. The house need never revert to dullness and children need never feel that the fun's all over until next year. This practice will also allow your children to take pride in their own artistic accomplishments, the fruits of which will be on display all around them.

Here is a list of just some of the annual events that you might wish to make a bigger fuss over, in terms of decorating a single room or decorating your entire home, inside and out. You may even choose to make gift-giving a part of a broader range of annual events, just for the pleasure of giving. You might bake a special cake and have a party with a particular theme in mind, and incorporate that theme into all of your table trimmings. Some of the following widely celebrated holidays and other special observances have fixed dates, while others vary a bit from year to year :

January 1 - New Year's Day
midJanuary - Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
January - Chinese New Year
February - African-American History Month
February 2 - Groundhog Day
February 14 - Valentine's Day
March - Women's History Month
March 17 - Saint Patrick's Day
late March or April - Easter
April - National Library Week
May - Older Americans Month
May – Asian Pacific American Heritage Month
May - Be Kind To Animals Week
midMay - Mother's Day
midJune - Father's Day
July 4 - American Independence Day
September - Grandparents Day
September 15 to October 15 - Hispanic Heritage Month
October 12 - Columbus Day
October 31 - Halloween
November - American Indian/Alaska Native Heritage Month
November - National Children's Book Week
late November - Thanksgiving
late November or December - Chanukah
December 25 - Christmas
December 26 to January 1 - Kwanzaa

To find detailed information on designs to use or special pictures and symbols to go with each event, you can consult Internet or find a book on holidays at your local library. Whatever your religion, you may also want to decorate your home for your faith’s unique holidays and traditional celebrations, the Jewish harvest festival of Sukkot, for example. Don't forget to doll up the place for all personal family events, too, such as each family member's birthday, graduations, anniversaries and the like. How about celebrating when your child successfully learns to ride a bicycle or loses a baby tooth ? You might even mark the arrival of a new pet, or a long overdue visit from a favorite relative who lives far away.

For each event, you may or may not choose to use some store-bought ornaments and objects related to the festivity, but you should also always include many homemade decorations. The art sessions during which you and your children design and make your own decorations add to family closeness and create special memories in and of themselves. They also encourage your children to tap their own creativity, to develop original ideas and see them through, and to trust their own instincts.

You might buy some basic materials, such as rolls of ribbon or crepe paper or rolls of colored cellophane and pipe cleaners, or really maximize your resourcefulness by relying primarily on odds and ends that you already have lying around the house. These could include bits of colored construction paper, tin foil, crayons, cotton balls, leftover ribbons and yarn. Be careful, of course, to keep scissors and swallowable objects out of the reach of small children and exercise caution if you have pets in your house. Please be careful not to use any decorations or materials that may be poisonous, such as poinsettias, or otherwise harmful to pets. For example, cats may swallow tinsel, which can then block their intestines, or pets may become tangled up in or choked by long, string-like strips of ribbon and such.

When plannng each project, let your kids decide what to make and where to put each item, or start with one room plus an idea of that room's overall decorative potential, such as a garland here, a mobile there, and a picture over there, and then set about to construct each desired element. Take plenty of photos along the way, not only of your resplendant rooms once they've been all gussied up, but also of your family's "making of" activities. You may even decide to start a special photo album just for this purpose.

Later, when the time comes to take down all of the decorations from a particular special event, pack them lovingly away so that next year you can reuse some, in addition to creating some new ones each year. You can gradually build up your own personal inventory of special ornaments and trimmings for each event in the year. Then, in years to come, they can be brought out for nostalgic afternoons with your adult children, or for sharing with your grandchildren. Each decoration or photo will have its own story to tell and, after all, these are the special moments that lifetime memories are made of.

Visit Barbara Freedman-De Vito's shop for T-Shirts, Mugs, Magnets, Clothing, and Gifts with holiday designs and more.

Source: articleheaven.com

A Christmas Ornament Tradition

Ideas for starting a Christmas ornament tradition in your family - by Rachel Paxton.



When my husband and I got married, my mother-in-law introduced me to one of her favorite Christmas traditions. She has five children, and for years she has been collecting ornaments for each of her children so that they can take their collection of ornaments with them when they have their own families.

I decided to start this tradition in our own family. Every year my daughter picks out a new ornament for her own collection. It's fun to look through all of the old ornaments and see how her collection has grown. The variety of ornaments shows how her tastes and interests have changed throughout the years.

You would think only girls would be interested in collecting Christmas ornaments. Actually, my husband has a lot of Christmas ornaments he really enjoys. He has several ornaments representing his favorite college and NFL football teams. He also treasures many of the keepsake ornaments his mother has made for him throughout the years.

There are a variety of ornaments you and your children can choose from to collect. If you have the time and desire to make them, you can purchase many types of ornament kits at craft stores. You can find beaded ornaments, ornaments made from felt, ornaments made from plastic canvas, and many others. This year I found a Nemo felt ornament kit at Walmart. My boys love Nemo and I thought they would be fun to make. They are turning out beautifully, but are taking much longer to make than I expected. I'll maybe have them done by next year! You might choose to make ornaments with your children. Clay ornaments are easy and fun to make.

If you don't want to make ornaments, buying them can be fun too. This year I purchased my boys' ornaments at a Christmas craft show. They had clay ornaments made to look like Thomas the Tank Engine that were absolutely adorable. They personalized the ornaments with their names and the year for free. Christmas bazaars are a great place to look for unique ornaments. Look for ornaments while you are travelling. Many gift shops have ornaments you can purchase to remind you of your favorite vacation spots. Ebay is also a good place to find ornaments. Last year I purchased an ornament on Ebay that had my husband's favorite football team on it. I'd never seen another one like it, and he loved it.

As you can see, collecting Christmas ornaments can be fun for the whole family. Every year your kids will look forward to picking out their new ornament to put on the tree. Make sure to write their names and the year on the back or bottom of the ornament with a permanent marker so you can keep track of everyone's ornaments!

Visit Crafty-Moms.com to find out how to decoupage a beautiful box to store your keepsake ornaments in.

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom who is the author of What's for Dinner?, an e-cookbook containing more than 250 quick easy dinner ideas. For more recipes, gardening, organizing tips, home decorating, holiday hints, and more, visit Creative Homemaking at http://www.creativehomemaking.com.

'Twas The Week Before Christmas - And There's Still Time To Make It From Scratch

The final edition before Christmas of the Make It From Scratch blog carnival is Here and once again, it's full of really good stuff...

Visit Mrs. Micah's site and find links to all of the participants - lots of recipes, last minute craft ideas, some different thoughts on ways to celebrate.

I love Make It From Scratch day!

Make It From Scratch - For Christmas!

My post for today has been made super easy by Summer at Summer's Nook and the ladies of the 43rd edition of the Make It From Scratch Blog Carnival. This week's carnival is loaded with Christmas crafts, gifts, comforts and recipes.
Go on over to Summer's Nook and take a look!

The Candy House

It began two weeks ago when we went to visit Santa and Maya saw the Candy House.
oooohhhh....a Candy House....



Since then, she's seen candy houses at Walgreen's and at Big Y, she spotted candy houses in Christmas magazines. There was a candy house in a commercial on TV.
Every time she saw one, Maya wanted me to look at it too.
A Candy House.

This morning we made a Candy House.

Nothing fancy, not a gingerbread house, our house began as a cardboard box covered with foil. We frosted it, shingled it with graham crackers, then dressed ourselves in coats and hats and boots and mittens and set out for a walk to the corner store for the candy.





By lunch time, we had our very own Candy House.



Now that it's almost time for bed, our candy house has a lot less candy.
I tried to quell the vandalism - "nibble, nibble, little mouse! Who's that nibbling at my house?"

"It's me, Maya. I'm eating the candy off this house."

Alrighty then.
Carry on.

Now Here's A Good Site! ThriftyFun.com

This is a big site full of Good Things.
I stumbled across it looking for Christmas ideas and they certainly have those!

Here are nearly 200 Christmas recipes that ThriftyFun users have submitted throughout the years.

But here's the idea I loved - simple, thrifty, fun!



Greeting Card Finger Puppets!

Countdown To Christmas!

We had an ice storm today, glistening and beautiful and taking down a power line this afternoon. I came to my desk tonight planning to seek out a good selection of Advent and Christmas countdown activities for the children to enjoy.
And to keep the children busy so the grandmothers can get something accomplished during the day!

It turns out that Beverly Hernandez, Your Guide to Homeschooling at About.com has already done the job for me. In fact, she's done a far more thorough job than I planned on doing!

I'll be visiting Beverly's Christmas Countdown Calendar Pages every day from now until Christmas to use her great ideas. ( and I still won't have time to do them all!)
Thank you and Three Cheers for Beverly!
Merry Christmas!

A Special Saturday Edition, A Special Make-It-From-Scratch Carnival Entry And A Very Special Guest Blogger - Grandma Strange's Folk Art Rag Bag

Thank You To Grace Martin at WOW, that had to hurt for sharing her blog, her talent and her very special knit "rags"!

Please be sure to view all of the entries in the Make-It-From-Scratch blog carnival -
Click Here



from Grace:

Grandma Strange's Folk Art Rag Bag

My Grandma Strange was old fashioned & a loving Grandma. She always wore a braid in the back of her hair & always wore an apron. Grandma knitted dish cloths/cleaning rags from left over yarn before paper towels were manufactured or purchasing rags became popular.

Grandma taught me to knit and while we knitted the afternoons away, we would talk. She would show me that every rag we made was different, not perfect, just like people. I learned many life lessons during my knitting visits with Grandma Strange.



I remember my visits like they were yesterday. Grandma was quite plump & would always greet me with warm hug. It was like being engulfed by a billowy pillow.

Now, as an adult, I would like one visit with Grandma Strange, but it is not possible. So, I knit rags in loving memory of my Grandma Strange. No matter how bad life is or what is going on, I can always knit & picture Grandma here to talk things over with. There were times she only had to look at me & I knew what she was saying.



Remember, these rags are just like Grandma Strange's Rag Bag. None of the rags are perfect or the same as the one before or after. I kept the bright, funny colors too. We had to use the left over yarn. There was never yarn to make one rag the same color.



If you would like to purchase a rag or two, please Visit Grace By Clicking Here for all the details.

Finishing The Week With Jan Brett And The Mitten

A Ukrainian Folktale retold and illustrated by Jan Brett


Alibris

When Nicki drops his white mitten in the snow, he goes on without realizing that it is missing.
One by one, woodland animals find the mitten and crawl in; first a curious mole, then a rabbit, a badger and others, each one larger than the last. Finally, a big brown bear is followed in by a tiny brown mouse, and what happens next makes a wonderfully funny climax.
As the story of the animals in the mitten unfolds, the reader can see Nicki in the borders of each page, walking through the woods unaware of what is going on.
Once again Jan Brett has created a dramatic and beautiful picture book in her distinctive style. She brings the animals to life with warmth and humor, and her illustrations are full of visual delights and details faithful to the Ukrainian tradition, from which the story comes.

After reading the book (either buy it as a wonderful Christmas gift or borrow it from the library - or both!) visit Jan Brett's Homepage for activities to accompany this classic book.

She has masks of all the animals to print out and use to put on your own play of The Mitten,
a Print and Cut game of Put The Animals In The Mitten, a design your own mitten template , even a cross stitch pattern of the mitten and all the animals for a loving grammy to stitch as a gift.

Have fun joining the animals and staying snug all winter!

The Animals Are Getting Ready For Winter!

People usually spend the winter in a home with some sort of heat; they put on extra layers of clothing and heavy coats for added warmth when they go outside. When the need for food grips them, they go to the grocery store. But what about the wild animals that live around us?

The biggest problem for most animals in the winter is finding enough food. Wild animals cope with the changes in weather and availability of food in one of three ways: adjusting, hibernating or migrating. Most land-bound animals are forced to remain and stay somewhat active during the winter. They must adjust to our changing weather. Many make changes in their behavior or bodies. Cold-blooded animals (i.e., insects, reptiles, amphibians, and fish) must hibernate if they live in environments where the temperature and therefore their own body temperature drops below freezing. Box turtles burrow into the soil or mulch piles. Reptiles like lizards and snakes seek protective cover under rocks, leaf litter and mulch piles. Many others hoard food stores to get them through the winter. Squirrels and mice stash their food in tree cavities, under leaf litter, or in holes in the ground. Still other animals, such as voles, have communal food storage areas underground.

Most animals prepare for winter by changing their bodies - accumulating body fat is the most crucial, a vital insulator for warmth and source of energy. Many of these animals, like deer, squirrels, and raccoons, spend the fall feasting on energy- and fat- rich acorns and other nuts that help them put on an insulating layer of fat beneath their skin. Their sparse summer coat is gradually replaced by a warmer one made up of a dense layer of under fur and a thick surface layer that helps to trap body heat. These species, as well the rabbit, otter, muskrat, fox, and bobcat, remain active throughout the winter, foraging or hunting daily. For other species, such as opossums and skunks, winter activity is temperature dependent. During extremely cold periods they spend their time in their nests or dens, curled up in a semi sleep dormant state.

Hibernation is the practice among certain animals of spending part of the cold season in a more or less dormant state, apparently as protection from cold when their normal body temperature cannot be maintained and food is scarce. This deep sleep allows them to conserve energy and survive the winter with little or no food. Hibernation is caused by a chemical trigger released by the brain when the animal experiences extremes of temperature, lack of food, or decreased amounts of daylight. Most hibernators prepare in some way for the winter. Some store food in their burrows or dens, to eat when they awaken for short periods. Many eat extra food in the fall while it is plentiful, and store it as body fat to be used later for energy.

Hibernators have two kinds of fat: regular white fat and a special brown fat. The brown fat forms patches near the animal's brain, heart, and lungs. The fat sends a burst of energy to warm these organs first when it is time for the animal to wake up. Hibernating animals are able to store enough food in their bodies to carry them over until food is once again obtainable. They do not grow during hibernation. Their bodily activities are reduced to a minimum; in fact they may have only one or two heartbeats every minute. This energy-efficient dormant stage enables the hibernating animal to have periods of inactivity that last for weeks or even months. True hibernators go into such a deep sleep that they are difficult to wake and may even appear dead. Their body temperature drops, and their breathing and heart rate drop significantly. For example, the groundhog, or woodchuck, is one of our true hibernators. It spends most of the summer in fields and in tunnels it has dug below. During winter, the groundhog finds it way to the deepest recesses of those tunnels where it will hibernate. A hibernating groundhog's heart rate slows from 80 beats to 4 beats per minute, and its body temperature drops from 98F to as low as 38F. If its temperature falls too low, it will awaken slightly and shiver to warm up a bit.

If an animal lives in an area where the winter is mild, it may hibernate only briefly, or not at all. However, even when the winter is severe, hibernators may wake up for short periods every few weeks to use their "toilet rooms" and eat if food is available. Animals such as raccoons, skunks, and some chipmunks are light sleepers and are easily awakened. They may sleep during the most severe weather and wake to roam and forage for food in milder weather.

Our largest hibernator is the bear. Bears are unique because, unlike other hibernators, they do not eat, drink, or excrete at all while hibernating, which can be as long as six months. Although the quarters are cramped, female bears give birth and nurse their cubs during hibernation. Other true hibernators include the jumping mouse, little brown bat, the eastern chipmunk, and some species of ground squirrels.

This week, let's have some fun learning about how animals live in the winter.
Crafts, coloring pages, stories - we could even make a feeding station to help out the animals that live nearby.

If your family has some ideas we can use to learn about animals in winter, please leave a comment and I'll be sure to say Thank You!

Come, Ye Thankful People, Come

"Mommeee...Grammy's talking weird again! She's callin me 'ye thankful'!"

The Kinder Arts newsletter just arrived and I was immediately drawn to the number of projects designed to help our family count its blessings.

Susan Futch has directions for Blessing Boxes made from milk cartons to show what you are thankful for on Thanksgiving Day. (I don't see why any small box wouldn't work just as well)

Karen Rowley shares a fun and educational Thankful Turkey.

Amanda Formaro walks us through the steps of making a Handprint Thanksgiving Tree.

And, if you're feeling really thankful - and ambitious! there are two Thanksgiving Quilts to choose from -
one from Yamilka J. Sena
and another designed by Mindy Shupak.

So Come, Ye thankfuls -
Let's get busy!

My Grandmother's Name Is Karen

Names are an interesting topic for children - both their own names and the idea that the adults they know by titles - Mommy, Daddy, Grammy, Grandpa, even Great Grampy!- all have their own names.
Try using these questions as a conversation starter at your Holiday meal:

What does my name mean?

What is the story of how my name was chosen?

Does anyone else in our whole family (from the past or present) have my name?

What other interesting names are there in our family?

Ask the children what they might name their own children someday. Why do they think that might be a good name?

Does anyone in the family wish that they had a different name? What is it? Why is it a better name?

It's fun to learn the meaning of everyone's first name.
Here's a link to a database of over 30,000 names. Just enter your name in the search box to find out what it means!

Older children will want to take the idea a bit further (we hope. Or they're rolling their eyes in boredom by now and wishing they could be excused from the table to do anything else other than this...)

Older children will also be interested in the meaning and possible origin of their last name.

About.com maintains a Last Name Meanings and Origins Glossary for your last name. The glossary includes last name meanings and origins, plus research links, common last name spelling variations, and surname search tips for last names of English, Irish, German, French, Italian, Spanish, and Jewish origin, including the 100 most popular U.S. surnames.

Can't find your last name in the Last Name Meanings Glossary? Submit your surname to Ask a Genealogist and the editor will try to research its meaning and add it to the Last Name Meanings Glossary. Last name site submissions are also welcome for sites primarily devoted to one of the included surnames.

And finally, dress up your Thanksgiving table. Print, clip, fold and add a name to these Thanksgiving placecards from Kid's Turn Central.

Mr. Rogers Talks About Divorce

Fantasies Are Often More Scary than Reality

Separation and divorce can be very sad and painful for children. Divorce brings many changes, and changes are hard for children. They may feel their family is broken. They may wonder, "If parents stop loving each other, can they stop loving me?" They may also think the divorce is their fault.

Parents can have hurt and angry feelings, too. Divorce can make a parent feel unloved and unwanted. When you feel hurt and upset, it is hard to have energy for the everyday needs of your child. It can be hard to remember that just because one relationship has failed, you have not failed at love. You are still a lovable and loving person.

Divorce changes families in many ways. But a mother and father who don't live together can still help their children feel safe, loved, and part of a caring family.

Children Need Simple Answers About the Divorce.

Most children think they caused the divorce because they were bad. Tell your child, "It is not your fault. This is a problem between the grownups."

It helps children when both parents are together to tell the news about the divorce.

It is enough to say "We are very, very sorry. We tried and tried, but we cannot live together anymore."

Some children think they can get their parents back together. It helps them to hear again and again that the children did not make the divorce happen. And the children cannot "fix" it.

Children Need to Know What Will Change and What Will Stay the Same.

Children don't understand what will change in a divorce. Their biggest question is, "Who will take care of me?" They need to hear there will always be grownups to take care of them.

Talk about the changes, like:

where they will sleep or go to school,
where each parent will live,
when they will be with each parent.
Talk about the things that will stay the same. Children want to know that some things will not change. They need to know there will still be rules.

And of course, the most important thing that stays the same is your love.

Children Need Ways to Express Their Feelings.

Children can have lots of sad and angry feelings about the divorce and all the changes it brings. Those feelings can last a long time.

Help your child to use words and say, "I am really mad!" instead of hitting or throwing things.
Children can get their feelings out by drawing, playing, and making up stories.
Read children's books about divorce. Talk about the story and the pictures.

Children Need to Know It's Ok to Have Their Own Feelings about Each Parent.

Even when one parent is angry with the other, it's important not to say "bad" things about the other parent.

Let your child know it's ok to like being with the other parent. That may be hard for you, but children feel better when they have some good feelings about both parents.

Sometimes children may not want to leave one parent to stay with the other. Let them know you understand that is hard.

Help Can Come in Many Ways.

Let your child's teacher know your family is having hard times.

The teacher can give extra help and comfort when your child is upset.
Tell your child that you told the teacher. Children think the divorce is a secret because no one talks about it. But divorce is not a secret for people who care about your child.
Find another adult you can talk with when you are going through a hard time. That can help you feel better about yourself.

Do things you and your child enjoy -- even small things, like reading a book together or taking a walk. Then you and your child can know there are good things in life to enjoy, even in hard times.

It can take a long time for children to manage their feelings about a divorce. For some children it takes longer than others.

If you feel your child needs extra help, try to find counseling or a support group. Most communities have that kind of help for families -- free or at low cost.

Whatever helps you to remember that you are a lovable and loving person is worth your time and energy.

For more information about helping children with divorce by Fred Rogers, please visit the Family Communications Inc. web site.



How Would You Feel?
an activity for you and your child

Pretending how we feel, or might feel, at certain times can be a good way for children to talk about feelings.

Materials:

Paper plates
Construction-paper shapes cut to represent facial features
Tape

Directions:

Use a paper plate, construction-paper shapes cut to resemble facial features and tape to create different facial expressions. Ask your child to tell you the feelings each "face" expresses.

As you and your child arrange different faces on the plates you have a chance to ask questions such as How would you feel if you were

*Getting ready to open a present
*Riding a tricycle and someone pushed you off
*Throwing a ball in the house and broke a vase
*Going to get a new puppy
*Hearing thunder
*Going to sleep somewhere else

Your child might want to make different expressions about the different situations you present. It helps children to know that we have lots of different feelings -- ambivalent feelings -- about a lot of things, even about a divorce.

Mr. Rogers Talks About Families

Families Come in Different Shapes and Sizes

Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Even people who are not related by blood at all can make up a family because they love and care for each other. And that's what is really important about families. When people care for one another, they have a sense of belonging - of being related to each other, even if they are not blood relatives.

There are many ways to become a member of a family. Being born into a family is one way. Marrying into a family, or being adopted are other ways to become part of a family. When children are adopted, they sometimes need reassurance that adoptive families and stepfamilies are like other families and that their moms and dads care for them, the same way other parents care for their children.
-- Fred Rogers

Family Life and a Focus On Adoption
Day by day, in the secure "nest" of family life, children learn the most essential thing of all -- how to live with other people. Daily life requires some structure and routine so that everyone in the family knows what to expect and can move through the day with some comfort and predictability.

That means, of course, that children can't do only what they want to do. There are rules and limits about such things as when to eat, what to eat, and when to sleep. As much as children may "test" the rules, they need -- and want -- adults to be in charge.

As children deal with the ups and downs of everyday life with parents, brothers or sisters, and friends, they're learning about compromise, responsibility, love, anger, generosity, compassion, and cooperation. Little by little they develop the ability to wait, to share, to try, to cope with disappointment, to understand and to express feelings. Day by day, they're seeing how they are like other people and how they are different. If they're fortunate, little by little they're coming to realize that they are unique, and that everyone else in this world is unique, too.

For Adoptive Families

Being adopted into a caring family can be a very special "love story." But adoption can be difficult to talk about, since it involves one of a child's deepest needs: the sense of security in belonging to a family that will always take care of him or her.

Talking about Adoption

Each child has unique ways of dealing with being adopted, and those ways can change as children grow. Some children talk a lot about being adopted, and they ask a lot of questions. Other children may be quiet about it.

Some people tell "the story of when you were adopted" as they're rocking their infants or when they're snuggling with their toddlers. Of course, infants and toddlers don't understand much about what's being said; nevertheless they're hearing about their history in a natural way.

Some parents worry that if they don't talk about adoption with their adopted child early on, someone else may reveal it to their child and that could raise even more concerns for him or her. In fact, a child could feel betrayed and wonder if adoption might be something shameful or something to hide if he or she hears such an important thing from someone other than family.

"It's Not Your Fault..."

As children grow, they try to make their own sense of why they were adopted. During the preschool years, as they work on controlling their own "bad" behavior, adopted children sometimes wonder if their birthparents didn't keep them because they were "bad" or because they cried a lot.

Those children need a lot of assurance from adults that what they're thinking just isn't true. It's better to say, "Your birthmother and birthfather just weren't able to take care of any baby at all" rather than saying, "Your birthmother and birthfather couldn't take care of you." In other words, there was nothing wrong with your child in particular; rather it was the birthparents' inability to provide care that prompted the adoption. If children are left to their own fantasies and think they were abandoned because they were bad, their next unspoken question to their adoptive parents might be, "How bad do I have to be before you give me away, too?"

Children need to hear that there were probably many reasons why their birthparents couldn't take care of a child, but that those reasons all have to do with the grownups. You may want to ask your child why he or she thinks some birthparents can't care for a baby, so you can correct any misconceptions and maybe find out more about what your child really wants to know.

Adoption Is For Always

There are wonderful things about being adopted into a loving family; nevertheless, some children feel that adoption also means loss -- loss of relationships with people they didn't even know, people who were a significant part of their history. Some children have said to their adoptive mother, "I'm sad that I didn't grow in your tummy." Adoptive mothers can let them know that they're sad about that, too, (if in fact they are) but that they're also very glad that "you're growing in our family!"

Many families nowadays avoid saying "You were chosen" because that could imply that those adoptive children are expected to live up to certain expectations if they are to remain chosen. Parents may think they're helping their child feel secure by believing they are "chosen," but oddly enough, that can have just the opposite effect. Adopted children need to hear and to know that adoption is not conditional -- adoption is for always. They need to hear, "You are special, not because you're adopted, but just because you're you. No matter what, you will always be part of our family. Adoption is for keeps."

However Your Family has Grown

As a parent, day in and day out, you're a nurturer, comforter, problem-solver, protector, limit-setter, and much more. In the safety of the family, you're helping your child learn how to get along with others, how to deal with rules and limits, how to cooperate, compromise, and negotiate -- all qualities that are essential for whatever relationships may be in your child's future.

For more information on adoption by Fred Rogers, visit the Family Communications web site.

Make A Family Photo Album To "Read" At Story Time

Create a family photo collage by gluing the pictures on a piece of heavy paper. Talk to the children about the people in the pictures and how they are all relatives and part of your family. You could store the pages in a photo album or three-ring binder. Each child in your family might like to make his or her own collage.

When you go on a trip to see relatives (at Thanksgiving for example), encourage your child to draw about the visit. Add your own comments on a separate page and put these in a notebook to help your child remember the family members they visited.

Our Family Works Together

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, November is a great time to Focus On Family. Today's activity will remind everyone to recognize and appreciate the contributions that each member makes to the family. You might want to work together on a chart like this one.
(but remember, the idea is to appreciate what each person brings to the family, making it a happy place to be. It's not a chore chart - we can make one of those later!)
Once you've finished listing all the wonderful ways your family helps and encourages on another, why not extend the activity by printing out these Fabulous Family Member Awards. Decorate them with paints, crayons or markers - don't forget the glitter!- and give one to each of the Fabulous Members of your family!

A Dangling Spider And Grinning Jack -o-Lantern From HighlightsKids.com

A couple of fun decorations to work on over the weekend from Highlights Kids.

Dangling Spider
Give your family and friends a fright with a spider made from felt and a film canister. Directions Here

Grinning Jack-o'-Lantern
You'll be grinning when making a jack-o'-lantern from a balloon, glue, and yarn.
Directions Here.

For some extra fun - how about this Monster Puppet?

This silly monster is easy to make with a shoebox, construction paper and some imagination. Directions Here.

Check Out The Halloween Ideas From Woman's Day Magazine!

This month's newsletter from Woman's Day Magazine is packed with Halloween Fun for kids and grandkids.
They have

7 Super-Easy 1-Hour Costumes
Last-minute disguises for kids, including a pirate, a hunchback and more!

15 Print-and-Color Halloween Masks
From butterflies to pandas to pirates, hit Trick-or-Treat Street with an easy-to-make DIY mask.

and
20 Halloween Crafts
Toast the ghosts of the season with these spooktacular decorations.


There's plenty here to keep you and the kids busy right up to Halloween night!

A Great Recycled Craft - Make A Handbag From Plastic Bread Bags!

This weeks edition of Make it From Scratch is up and running over at And Miles to Go Before We Sleep. Just like every other week, there are a lot of recipes and ideas being shared. I especially enjoyed this one from Cindy at My Recycled Bags. This project is a fun one for older children (and grammies!), while providing another opportunity to discuss the importance of recycling. Cindy says "I saved about 30 or more bags to make this multi-colored handbag. It’s really durable and will definitely be a conversation piece when you use it."
It's a beautiful bag, Cindy.
Go on over to My Recycled Bags where you'll find the full instructions for making a bag of your own. Then start saving those bread bags!

Friday - Rain, Glitter And Ghosts

A rainy day - a great day to work on some Halloween projects. We painted and glittered a tiny pumpkin, then decided to make handprint and foot print ghosts. Very Spooky! And fun. And easy.
I painted the bottom of Maya's foot white and she painted the bottom of Grammy's foot white. We both stepped onto a piece of black paper, then did the same with the palms of our hands.
I was prepared with a container of wet wipes to remove the paint from our hands and feet on the spot - paint footprints would be Most Unfortunate on the carpet.
We waited for the paint to dry, added eyes with a black sharpie marker and painted all over the place with silver glitter glue.
Splendidly Spooktacular!

Halloween And More At Thrifty Fun.com

I found a great new site this morning - Thrifty Fun! I stumbled onto their Halloween Page with it's Frugal Costume Ideas, lots of crafts, and even some ideas for Halloween Alternatives for families who don't celebrate Halloween.
From there I discovered that the site is really a community - a site where regular folks can share their knowledge and ideas.
There are also free newsletters to sign up for - if you're like me, your email box is already bursting with all the great newsletters out there - but there is always room for a few more!